Cruise Control

Are you ready for Effortless Success...?!

Looking for "top tips" to help you enjoy more success at work - and in your life as a whole - and have fun along the way?  Want an extraordinary career without paying the price in your health and home life?  Curious about the difference that makes the difference between people who achieve outstanding results and incredible levels of job satisfaction and the rest of the folks on the planet?  Then you've come to the right place...

Life is a journey.  And if you know how to drive and have a little on-the-road experience, whether you realise it or not, you already know how to enjoy effortless and deeply satisfying success.  Curious?  Read on!

I'll be dividing this blog into 6 main sections:

1. Discover Your Dream Destination
2. Reprogramme Your Autopilot
3. Get Moving
4. Make Good Use of Your SatNav
5. Lead Your Convoy
6. The Ultimate Journey

So now, get ready to set yourself to Cruise Control... for Life!

* Check out my brand new website www.KateTrafford.com *

When your Autopilot has other ideas...

Have you ever set a goal, and suddenly found yourself heading faster than ever in the opposite direction?  Perhaps you began a weightloss diet and suddenly felt compelled to eat all kinds of junk you weren't even eating before?  Perhaps you joined a gym and commited to 'work out' three times a week from now on, only to end up glued to the sofa?  Or perhaps you decided back in January that this was the year you were going to write your book, and put your work - and yourself - 'out there' in a big way, only to find four months later that you haven't even squeezed out a blog post?!

OK.  So maybe that last one's just me... but you get the idea!  Something's important to you, maybe really important to you, and yet you seem to thwart your attempts at every turn.  You may make a little headway here and there, but the effort involved is huge.  And without constant vigilant attention, your Autopilot seems to whip the 'wheel right out of your hands and spin you around in the opposite direction.  Eventually the Will Power runs out, and we say enough's enough! That's when the "fun" really begins, of course, as we've not only 'failed' in our attempt but we get to add "self-sabotage" to our long list of faults.  We're not 'back to square one', we're way further back than that.  Or so it seems...

But what if there was really no such thing as self-sabotage?  What if your Autopilot was actually revealing to you other intentions you hold dear, intentions which have previously been outside of your conscious awareness, and which need to be respected if you're to be happy as well as successful?  What if these experiences are the ideal opportunity to get to know your Whole Self better - to get up close and personal with the parts of you that are often ignored - and experience true joy? What if every apparent set-back is really a moment of Truth, inviting you to dissolve the apparent conflict and discover a new way of being which honours everything that's important to you?  What if, in those moments where your Dream Destination feels more distant than ever, you are actually on the brink of a breakthrough?

If you are taking one step forward and two steps back in any area of your life, and are ready to end the cycle of 'on track / off track' once and for all, here's my invitation to you: Grab your Travel Log, open up a new page, and split it into two columns.  Now, stop and fully consider...

What are the competing intentions
that need to be heard and honoured?

Tune into the part of you that wants you to make progress on your goal, and notice what's important to you.  What do you believe 'success' will give you?  Make a list in the first column, noting everything that comes to mind.  Then tune in to the part of you that seems to be getting in the way.  What needs, desires and intentions are being met in the moment that you stop, or even turn around completely?  Make a list in the second column.  Be open.  Be curious. Be patient.  

For example, if you have excess weight you'd like to lose, perhaps your intentions include comfort, good health, energy, aesthetic beauty, longevity, control and a whole list of other needs best met at your ideal weight.  But if the route you have chosen for achieving weightloss is a bland and restrictive diet and a punishing exercise regime that leaves you hungry, exhausted and in pain, then perhaps the part of you that spins you around wants you to honour your intentions to experience joy, freedom, pleasure, nourishment, fun, simplicity and kindness (and if there are things on that second list which are more important to you in the moment than looking and feeling good down the road, don't expect your regimen to last long...). Be willing to assume, just for now, that this part of you ALSO has your best interests at heart, and if something comes up which does not feel positive, dig deeper until you find something that makes sense.  For example, if you feel 'held back', that might be about self-protection, which might in turn reflect an intention to keep you safe.

Now read back what you have written in both columns. There's an opportunity before you, the chance to draw on your creativity and willingness to experiment...!  Simply ask yourself the question;

How can I meet ALL of my intentions,
now and in the future?

You can't travel down two roads at the same time.  But you can discover a third way, a truer way.  Just sit.  And wait.  And listen.  And then take inspired action...  

Wondering if this approach works?  Well, after years of struggling with my own weight, I'm 30lbs lighter than I was just a few months ago and, more importantly, really enjoying the ride.   And having spent a few minutes yesterday applying this same approach to my writing... well... you're reading this blog post!  So far, so good.

So how about you?  Are you curious about the positive intention of the part of you that hasn't been heard, until now?  Are you ready to let go of what you think you need to do, in order to create more authentic possibilities for yourself?   Are you ready to experience something new and different, and allow the whole of you to come along for the ride?  I hope so.  Everything you really want is waiting for you on the other side...

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal:
it is the courage to continue that counts."
Sir Winston Churchill 

Discover Your Dream Destination!

This is the 5th post in a series designed to set you up for effortless and enjoyable success in 2013 and beyond!  If you missed the previous posts, I recommend you start here.

Are we having fun yet?!  If you played with my previous post, the chances are greatly improved that your answer is "Yes!" Maybe you didn't stay aligned with the Real You the whole time.  No one I know does (and if you did, I want to interview you!).  Maybe you fell asleep at the wheel and forgot all about your intention for big chunks of your day.  Maybe you reacted to someone or something and did a big old U-turn!  But if you 'followed your bliss', as Joseph Campbell invited us all to do, then there will have been times when you did find your flow, when ideas and even actions came easily to you, and you began to wonder what it would be like to live your life from this place.  Well that's what I'm all about - effortless and enjoyable success on this Journey of life!

But here we are on the 8th of January, and we haven't even set our GOALS yet!  Shocking, isn't it?!  Or maybe it isn't.  Because if you've taken just the few minutes necessary to follow the sequence of questions set out for you so far, you're already locked on to your Dream Destination more fully than most who set New Years Resolutions.

And now the fun really starts!  Grab your Travel Log, and head up a new page with the title "My Dream Detination!".  Next, re-read all the entries you've made so far, noting any recurring words, phrases or themes which emerge as you do so.

Now, close your eyes and allow your body to relax into stillness.  By tapping into your Still Power, you will be much better able to tune in, once again, to the fullness of the Real You.  And as you do, as you are willing to just sit and BE, something wonderful will begin to happen... 

After a few minutes, or whenever you feel ready, bring your attention back ino the room and begin to write about your dreams for the future. Consider your home life, your work, and all of the people you care about most.  If anything is possible, if you can create your life by design, what does your Dream Destination look and sound and feel like?  Make it big, and juicy and delicious!  And as your week unfolds, whenever you are feeling aligned and uplifted, notice the new ideas that flow and capture those too.

This is where you're headed.  This is the Dream Destination the Real You is calling you towards!  And this - or somewhere even better - is where you are destined to arrive.

"When you follow your bliss... doors will open where you would not have thought there would be doors, and where there wouldn't be a door for anyone else."  Joseph Campbell

 

What Would the 'Real You' Do?

If you really want to get somewhere, you already know there's more to consider than just your speed.  After all, putting  your pedal to the metal in the wrong direction just gets you nowhere fast!  So how can you ensure that the action you take and the energy you expend is genuinely moving you forward?

If you took up the invitation I set out in my previous post, then you already have a big part of the answer, and know where you're headed - even if you haven't 'set your goals' yet.  I'll show you what I mean...

Open up your Travel Log and re-read your "How will I be...?" entry.  Feel the THRILL as you tune into the fullness of who you are... becoming!  Now, read it again, and this time underline any word which represents a personal quality or characteristic.  For example, from my entry I underlined words such as 'compassionate', 'loving', 'inspired and inspiring', 'abundant' and 'courageously bold'!  If any new qualities come to mind as you reflect on what you wrote, add those too.  Keep writing until you feel complete, or at least ready to pause...

Now scan the words you've underlined, and ask yourself this:   

"Which of these higher qualities, if I were to live it fully, 
would make the biggest difference in my life?" 

And then live it!  Align yourself with this 'higher quality' for a whole day.  For example, if you chose the word 'loving', you would commit to think, speak and act with love to the best of your ability for the rest of the day.  If you faced a decision, you might ask yourself "What is the loving choice here?" or "What would love do in this situation?"  And you would direct that love inwards, towards yourself, as well as out towards others. Now remember, life is far too important to be taken seriously!  So be playful with this.  Have fun.  And catch yourself getting it right!

As you align yourself with the qualities of the Real You, you lock onto your true destination - even if you don't yet consciously know where that is or what it looks like.  The experience you hoped to have at some point in the future, as a result of achieving your dreams and goals, becomes your moment-by-moment 'mode of travel'!  Every action you take from there will move you forward, easily and effortlessly, as you swap Will Power for Thrill Power! 

And tomorrow...?  Well, tomorrow is another day, and the choice is yours:  Continue with the same 'higher quality', or scan your key words again and commit to another.  I've been playing with 'courageously bold' for months now, and I'm not even close to done... ;-)

 "Happiness is not a state to arrive at, rather, a manner of travelling."  Samuel Johnson

New You or REAL You?

Happy New Year to you and yours!  I hope 2013 brings you everything you would wish for yourself!  And with that in mind, let's crack on with the next post of our 'Best Year Yet' series, and set you up for effortless and enjoyable success!

Have you ever set a goal, perhaps even a New Years Resolution, and not achieved it?  If so, you're far from being alone!  Goal-setting, when done well, is one of the most powerful strategies for transformation I know.  So why do so many New Years Resolutions fall by the wayside within the first half of January, and some even before the clock's struck twelve?!  Here's a big clue:

The purpose of setting a goal, of any kind,
is the person you become in the achievement of it. 

Now most people, I've found, intuitively get this.  But then they 'logic' their way into very big trap: "I want to have / do _____________ (quit smoking / lose 30lbs / make more money / meet the (wo)man of my dreams / etc), because then I'll be __________ (happy / secure / confident / loved / etc)" - you fill in the blanks!  And this is a very big trap, for the following reasons:

• The goal itself becomes a negative affirmation.  The underlying message is "I haven't achieved my goal yet, and so I can't be __________ (happy / secure / inspired / confident / loved / etc) now".  As a result, we unwittingly deny ourselves the very 'experience of being' that we are seeking.  We make how we feel totally dependent upon our circumstances.  And we condemn ourselves to long periods of struggle and emotional drought in the hope of some future moment of satisfaction.
• If we want to achieve our goal, we need to take action.  And the very emotional states we deny ourselves are those which make taking the necessary action easy and enjoyable.  For example, how much more likely am I to make healthy food choices and be inspired to be active when I'm feeling confident, secure and loving myself than when I'm not?  Without these good-feeling states, any action is likely to feel so 'up hill' that either it won't happen or it will be very short-lived!
• The goal is set from a feeling of 'lack', by finding fault and focussing on what's missing in our lives.  And, for reasons I'll explain more fully in future posts, this leads us to Drive Hard... in completely the wrong direction!

The answer, I've discovered, is both simple and profound:

Allow yourself to become the REAL YOU right now.

You see, the abundant, confident, inspired, secure, healthy, loved and loving person you want to become already exists - inside of you!  Underneath the layers of conditioning, the self-doubt and the limiting beliefs, it's Who You Really Are!  And when you tune in, when you make a connection on the inside to the fullness of who you are, you can feel it, can't you?  These are the moments when you know your worthiness, know your power, know your ability to create your life just the way you want it to be AND experience ease and joy along the way!

So how can we make really good use of the arrival of this New Year?  Here's my invitation for today - and for the next few days...  Park your goal for now and back up just a little.  Take out your Travel Log and head up a new page with the question "How will I be as a person when I've achieved everything I want to achieve?"  Then start to write in the present tense about the very best of who you are... becoming more... each day...  By writing about who you are becoming, you will tune more fully to Who You Really Are.  Experience the bliss that this alignment brings! 

Now, as you continue to write, begin to describe what you are doing and what you have as a result - the abundance, the relationship of your dreams, the bodily condition, the work that doesn't feel like work - everything that is a match to Who You really Are!  Don't censor it - you're not commiting to anything at this stage, and you don't need to know anything about when or how this could come about.  We're just playing with ideas, so let it flow -  and, if it feels good, write it down!

Take your time with this.  Play with it for a little while, then put it down.  Add to it over the next few days, as your inspiration begins to flow even more fully and one idea leads to another.  And know that, by tapping into the power of stillness, and thereby staying aligned with the truth of who you are, everything you have been waiting for will begin to flow into your experience faster and with greater ease than you ever thought possible.

Happy New Year!

"We will open the book.  Its pages are blank.  We are going to put words on them ourselves.  The book is called Opportunity, and its first chapter is New Year's Day."  Edith Lovejoy Pierce

Wave Goodbye to 2012...

You want 2013 to be your best year yet?! Fantastic! I'm right there with you! But as we fix our eyes on the road ahead (365 days of pure opportunity - whoohoo!) there's just one more thing to be done: Let's take a few moments to say a heartfelt goodbye to 2012.

Now maybe 2012 was a great year for you and maybe it wasn't. But even if you are very ready to put the past behind you, if you want to set yourself up for effortless success on this next stretch of your Journey, there's much to be gained by making really good use of your rear view mirror! So here's a little exercise to help you do just that.

Grab your Travel Log, and at the top of a fresh page, write;

"2012 was wonderful because..."

(and if you're thinking, "Wonderful?! You've got to be kidding! I can't wait to see the back of it!" then it's even more important that you complete this simple but powerful exercise...!). Now begin to write... a list, a story, a stream of consciousness - it really doesn't matter what form it takes. But write for at least 15 minutes, and for longer if you can, about all the GOOD that has come to you in this past year.

Some things will probably be obvious - achievements large and small, new friendships, fun times and magical moments. Others may require a little more thought - such as the challenges and set-backs you faced but from which you learned a great deal, or the painful experiences which turned out to be very meaningful to you either at the time or later with hindsight. This latter aspect is so important: The more fully you can turn around any uncomfortable thoughts and feelings about what you've experienced, the more you release any unconscious resistance you've built up along the way, and ready yourself for a smooth and enjoyable ride in the New Year. 

Have fun with this! Then enjoy your celebrations as Midnight clicks by. I'll be back with more fun and thought-provoking activities over the next couple of weeks, to help you get 2013 off to a flying start! ♥

"To different minds, the same world is a hell and a heaven."  Ralph Waldo Emerson

New Year. New Journey. New You?

New Years Resolutions.  Love them or loathe them, chances are in the next few days someone's going to ask if you've set any.  And what will your answer be? 

So many of us set wonderful intentions for the New Year, gird our Will Power, and go at our 'Resolutions' in a blaze of glory... which fizzles to nothing by about Week 3.  If this has happened to you, and you've ended up recycling the same intentions year after year with little or no success, then I have good news for you!  Firstly, it's not your fault:  Traditional approaches to goal-setting, especially those which put heaps of pressure on a particular date (such as January 1st!), have fundamental flaws built in.  This makes it way harder than it's meant to be to make positive changes in your life, and often leads to a feeling of defeat and disappointment.  Secondly, there is a better way - an enjoyable, effortless and much more meaningful way - one that works not just for me, but for the many clients I've had the chance to share. 

So will you allow me the honour of being your Tour Guide as you transition to the New Year and the New You?!  Over the next couple of weeks I'll share with you a series of questions and other activities to help you discover what success really means to you, and how to achieve it effortlessly and enjoyably - not just for the first two weeks of January, but every day from now on.  Some will be slightly updated re-shares of past blog posts, others new material I've developed since - all brought together in a single strand, with the single aim of supporting you in creating Your Best Year Yet!  

You can even receive all these posts direct to your InBox: simply visit the Blog Home Page and sign up using the box in the left-hand side bar.

Are you ready to ditch your Will Power, and tap into your Thrill Power?!  If so, all you will need is a notebook - one which looks and feels good to you - to use as your 'Travel Log', and an open mind and intrepid heart, as you embark on your exciting Journey of Self-Discovery.

Are you with me? 

"The future belongs to those who prepare for it."  Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Obstacle is The Way

When the road ahead seems to be blocked by an apparently insummountable challenge, do not turn back.  What appears to stand in your way may be the very thing you need to lift yourself higher.

"The Obstacle is the Way." Zen Proverb

The Secret to a Joyful Journey?

When I am asked about the best way to create a successful and joy-filled Journey of Life, the question is often posed as some kind of grand dilemma: "Should I set my sights on a magnificent Dream Destination, as you suggest, OR would it in fact be better if I just did the 'gratitude thing' and got really happy right where I am?"  As if this is choice we have to make?!?

You already know from your travels thus far: The secret to a truly joyful, meaningful and deeply satisfying Journey is to know where you're heading, milking the delicious anticipation of the 'more' that is on its way AND enjoy the sights along the way.  And I'm not just talking about the Magical Milestones that let you know you're on track.  I'm talking about the evidence that surrounds you - right here, right now - that you are already truly blessed!  

At first it may feel like you need to simply ping-pong a little more frequently between these two perspectives - finding things to love that are out there in your future, then finding things to love about where you are right now.  But, sooner than you think, these perspectives blend, affording you the most deliciously satisfying and exciting Journey possible! 

The 'Secret to a Joyful Journey'?  Constant seeking and constant finding.   Be curious.  Be open.  Practice this blending, and you'll create your very own 'Heaven on Earth'.

"Heaven on Earth is a choice you must make, not a place you must find." Dr Wayne W Dyer

The Risks of The Road

Do you want to stay safe on this Journey of Life?  Then it's time to start embracing risk!

Every choice involves risk of one sort or another.  We've all been trained to pay attention to the risks of moving forward.  Too few of us have been trained to recognise the risks of holding back.

'Playing it safe' in your relationships will cost you intimacy, connection and vitality.  'Playing it safe' in your work will cost you opportunity, recognition and job satisfaction.  'Playing it safe' in your business will cost you innovation, collaboration and market share.  

Now I'm not advocating recklessness here!  I'm simply encouraging the kind of intelligent, open-hearted, managed risk-taking that is essential to ongoing growth and contribution.  I'm inviting you to acknowledge the price you pay, over the long haul, for staying within your Familiarity Zone.  I'm asking you to ensure that, when you 'weigh the risks' of the various options before you, you include the very real risks of staying right where you are.  'Do Nothing' is an option, and it's the choice you make by default whenever you postpone a genuine decision.

'Playing it safe' in the traditional sense puts you at risk.  It buys you momentary comfort, but at a huge price: It costs you the joyful, love-infused adventure you came her to live. It costs you the difference you were born to make in the world.  It costs you the person you are capable of becoming.

"To dare is to lose one's footing momentarily.  To not dare is to lose oneself."  Soren Kierkegaard

When You Meet With Adversity

Here's a hugely important distinction I'd like to share: Your 'standard of living' and your 'quality of life' are two very different things.  Why does that matter?  Well, if the joy of the Journey is to be yours - now, and for the long haul - the chances are society has trained you to focus on the wrong one.

Your 'standard of living' hinges on external factors - your home, your job, your bank balance, your car, your spouse and 2.4 children, or whatever other conditions you (and society at large) have decided contribute to your comfort and status.  They can be seen by others, measured with a yard stick, and categorised to the marketing industry's delight.  And, as Hurricane Sandy so ably demonstrated this week, they can be swept away in an instant by adversity in any one of its many forms.

Your 'quality of life', on the other hand, hinges on internal factors - your focus, your attitude, your flexibility, your connection to Self, your sense of purpose, and your willingness moment by moment to make the most empowering meaning possible of whatever conditions you face.  This, too, can be seen by others - for those with the eyes to see it.  These choices manifest as joy, contentment, peace, wellbeing, authenticity, generosity and love.  They are not so easy to measure, but when our 'quality of life' is high, we know it - and when it's not, no fancy car or beautiful home can compensate for the distress or emptiness we feel inside.

There is, of course, a correlation between 'standard of living' and 'quality of life'.  If you allow your emotions to always be a reaction to whatever you observe in your surroundings, then it's certainly easier to be happy when the scenery looks good.  But the wonderful news is this: Your 'quality of life' is an inside job, which means it's under your direct control.  The more you practice paying attention in a more deliberate and selective way - focusing fully on those things which feel good to you - the more robust your 'quality of life'.

Whether you are just the other side of a real hurricane or a metaphorical one - or even if the storm is still raging - please remember this:  You have the power to choose your response.  You have the power to make all of this mean something different and much more empowering to you.  You have the power to experience beauty in the midst of chaos.  You have the power to turn your moments of greatest adversity into some of the greatest moments of your life.

You can use your power or not.  Either way, it's always there.  You are powerful beyond measure, and no storm can ever change that.

"Opposition is a natural part of life.  Just as we develop our physical muscles through overcoming opposition - such as lifting weights - we develop our character muscles by overcoming challenges and adversity."  Dr Stephen R Covey.